By Harvey Mackay

When we were growing up, most of us learned to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Not “as they do unto you,” but “as you would have them do unto you.”

As working professionals, there is another manifestation of this rule, the Golden Rule for Networking. It should permeate all your networking efforts. But it goes against every naturally acquisitive, ambitious and self-serving impulse in each of us.

My Golden Rule of Networking is this: Reciprocity without keeping score. Simply stated, it means what can I do for you without expecting anything in return?

Webster’s Dictionary says reciprocity is mutual action and mutual exchange. Mutually beneficial to both is the kind of reciprocity that most people are familiar with.

My definition of reciprocity is quite different. You must give without keeping score. No quid pro quo. It’s the one fundamental concept that is the most misunderstood in business today. Few people truly understand this. You are either all in or all out.

To be as candid as I can be, there have been plenty of people over the years who said they were going to help me in some way, but they didn’t. Maybe they couldn’t. Maybe they just forgot. Maybe they never intended to. It doesn’t matter. You cannot keep score, or you will lose for sure.

Let me tell you how it works: If we’re smart, we surround ourselves with talented people — the most talented we can find. They are our most powerful asset. That’s why I think of this select group as our own personal brain bank. They include our family, friends, mentors, fellow workers and our industry contacts. You never know when you’ll need to draw on the “accounts” you create with those oh-so-valuable resources.

With every contact within your brain bank — every call and every visit — preferably near the conclusion, sincerely ask the other person what you can do to be helpful to them. Ninety-five percent of the time, people will thank you for asking and tell you that there’s really nothing they need. If, however, they do ask you for a favor, then your eyes should light up like the New Year’s Ball in Times Square.

As you learn what is being asked for, note every detail with warmth and urgency. Fulfill the request to the best of your ability. As you do it, and after it’s done, expect nothing, absolutely nothing, in return. Don’t shop for gratitude in your phone calls or e-mails. Do the favor because you like and respect the other person and honestly want to help.

If you manage your career and live your life in this way, two magical things will happen:

Over time, people will find ways to do remarkable and unexpected things for you that make your life easier.
When you’re hit by a storm in full fury, you are likely to find the most astonishing human network of support you could ever imagine.
There are countless ways business people can be helpful to each other:

Help a colleague prepare for a major presentation. Act as their sounding board. Help your friend by pointing out what needs to be clearer . . . what needs more emphasis . . . and what seems to drag.
Be a source for heads-up information. Do it for other business leaders in your community or your industry — perhaps not direct competitors, but almost everyone else.
Never abuse confidences and or share inside information. You only have to do this once, and you’ll be marked as a security risk for life. Worst of all: You’ll never learn what others know about you and why they won’t trust you.
Don’t export problems. Sometimes companies try to downsize high-maintenance losers and stick them on another company’s payroll. Believe me, if you do that, you will be remembered and for the wrong reasons. When you terminate people who aren’t performing, do them the favor of leveling with them and constructively help them readjust their career focus.
Over the years, my networking focus has shifted from the quantity of contacts I maintain to the quality of contacts. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is determined by the quality of your relationships.

Mackay’s Moral: If you want to win at networking, don’t keep score.

Practice reciprocity without keeping score

By Harvey Mackay

When we were growing up, most of us learned to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Not “as they do unto you,” but “as you would have them do unto you.”

As working professionals, there is another manifestation of this rule, the Golden Rule for Networking. It should permeate all your networking efforts. But it goes against every naturally acquisitive, ambitious and self-serving impulse in each of us.

My Golden Rule of Networking is this: Reciprocity without keeping score. Simply stated, it means what can I do for you without expecting anything in return?

Webster’s Dictionary says reciprocity is mutual action and mutual exchange. Mutually beneficial to both is the kind of reciprocity that most people are familiar with.

My definition of reciprocity is quite different. You must give without keeping score. No quid pro quo. It’s the one fundamental concept that is the most misunderstood in business today. Few people truly understand this. You are either all in or all out.

To be as candid as I can be, there have been plenty of people over the years who said they were going to help me in some way, but they didn’t. Maybe they couldn’t. Maybe they just forgot. Maybe they never intended to. It doesn’t matter. You cannot keep score, or you will lose for sure.

Let me tell you how it works: If we’re smart, we surround ourselves with talented people — the most talented we can find. They are our most powerful asset. That’s why I think of this select group as our own personal brain bank. They include our family, friends, mentors, fellow workers and our industry contacts. You never know when you’ll need to draw on the “accounts” you create with those oh-so-valuable resources.

With every contact within your brain bank — every call and every visit — preferably near the conclusion, sincerely ask the other person what you can do to be helpful to them. Ninety-five percent of the time, people will thank you for asking and tell you that there’s really nothing they need. If, however, they do ask you for a favor, then your eyes should light up like the New Year’s Ball in Times Square.

As you learn what is being asked for, note every detail with warmth and urgency. Fulfill the request to the best of your ability. As you do it, and after it’s done, expect nothing, absolutely nothing, in return. Don’t shop for gratitude in your phone calls or e-mails. Do the favor because you like and respect the other person and honestly want to help.

If you manage your career and live your life in this way, two magical things will happen:

Over time, people will find ways to do remarkable and unexpected things for you that make your life easier.
When you’re hit by a storm in full fury, you are likely to find the most astonishing human network of support you could ever imagine.
There are countless ways business people can be helpful to each other:

Help a colleague prepare for a major presentation. Act as their sounding board. Help your friend by pointing out what needs to be clearer . . . what needs more emphasis . . . and what seems to drag.
Be a source for heads-up information. Do it for other business leaders in your community or your industry — perhaps not direct competitors, but almost everyone else.
Never abuse confidences and or share inside information. You only have to do this once, and you’ll be marked as a security risk for life. Worst of all: You’ll never learn what others know about you and why they won’t trust you.
Don’t export problems. Sometimes companies try to downsize high-maintenance losers and stick them on another company’s payroll. Believe me, if you do that, you will be remembered and for the wrong reasons. When you terminate people who aren’t performing, do them the favor of leveling with them and constructively help them readjust their career focus.
Over the years, my networking focus has shifted from the quantity of contacts I maintain to the quality of contacts. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is determined by the quality of your relationships.

Mackay’s Moral: If you want to win at networking, don’t keep score.

Did your marketing team slow down a bit during the dark days of January/February? If so, they probably weren’t alone. Once peak marketing seasons ebb, “many companies stop their marketing activities with the rationale that they will spend on marketing during the next busy season,” according to a Promo Direct post at its Promotional Ideas blog.

But allowing “quiet spells” like these at any point in the B2B marketing year is simply bad business practice, Promo Direct argues, adding that truly effective marketing means being consistent year-round. “A quiet spell now is actually a result of lack of planning and marketing six months ago.”

To help boost your client list, your relationship with current clients, and your overall results, Promo Direct suggests you engage in simple daily, weekly and monthly marketing activities such as these throughout the year:

Daily

Send one email to or call at least one new contact.
Add at least one prospect’s name to your list of potential clients.
Add one more personal detail about a current client to your client database.
Weekly

Send surveys to current clients. Incorporate their suggestions into your practices.
Research your competitors’ activities.
Monthly

“Contact the customers who truly support your business,” Promo Direct writes. “These are the customers that provide referrals for your business and engage in word-of-mouth marketing for your company.”
Review the effectiveness of your contact points.
The Po!nt: Be consistent. Avoid practicing seasonal “binge marketing,” and instead engage in “healthy, regular marketing activities” that will boost your client list and your results, Promo Direct advises.

Source: Promo Direct.

My friend Eden Sunshine, the business process guru, calls many of the “solutions” to which entrepreneurs are attracted, “bright and shiny things.”

I take this to mean objects that may dazzle, but perhaps look better than they really are. Certainly the marketing moves that bid for our attention almost daily can fairly be said to fall in the same category. They look good – and attributes the media salesperson or online “wizard” ascribes to them are, indeed, enticing. But before plowing precious dollars into a tactic that seems to be a quick fix, cool off long enough to consider how it does – or doesn’t – complement your overall marketing strategy.

Sometimes that pig in a poke disguised as a “sure cure” is better left alone to burrow its way into somebody else’s well-conceived marketing plan.

Sometimes, people seem to regard marketing pros as saviors, turning to them for restoration from the scrap heap of business. Though it’s true we have, on occasion, ourselves been cast in that role, our preference as a marketing company is to help take viable entities to the next level. turnaround artists.

That said, though we are not turnaround artists, we couldn’t help being fascinated by the prospect of tackling the irascible Mr. Sheen’s formidable “PR challenge” as a personal project. Indeed it might be stimulating for our eager-but-humble marketing and public relations agency to approach the grumpy Hollywood Hooligan with an offer to attempt to resurrect his flagging career.

Certainly, the task would require more than crafting and distributing a few positive news releases and setting him up with appearances at women’s clubs, small-town fairs, rural dog shows and the like. But, it does seem to be doable.

Imagine the challenge

I can picture us now, begging Sean Hannity for a guest spot for Chas. on his Fox Network show, all the time proclaiming through our most sincere straight face, “Honestly, Sean, Charlie really is a nice, sweet guy, and he even is a big fan of Sarah Palin!” Not to mention, of course, the fact that we even have taught him to string together an entire sentence sans snarling.

Tough sell, you say? . . . maybe not so tough in this, the age of selective memory. After all, we seem to have forgotten and forgiven the fact we still are saddled with the “temporary” tax increases of the Sixties. We seem to retain our trust in those New York brokerage houses and other financial experts who have deep sixed our economy. And, don’t we still admire The U.S. Congress, even though its ranks have been exposed as being infused with phonies, frauds and crooks?

Considering the contemporary state of affairs, permissive to a fault, is it any wonder that one of our more creative young staffers even has suggested we take the easy way out: “Slap a blond wig on Charlie, change his name, and pass him off as the male Lady Gaga, or, even, a latter day lip-synch sensation, a la Milli Vanilli. “He’d be a smash, “ she insists, “and people would soon forget that lowlife son-of-an-actor that snorts more than any nose was ever designed to tolerate,” she gushes. Ah, the idealism of youth!

The tragedy behind the tittering (notice, we didn’t say Twittering?)

If it’s true we like to see our pop idols crumble upon their feet of clay, we guess this Sheen Shambles will, at least, provide some good laughs and an abundance of fodder for the gossip shows and columns But what, we wonder, will it take on the part of some PR wizards to bring some significant sheen to that dulled Sheen image, and restore it to its normal state of abnormality? More than we at our marketing outfit care to offer, you can be certain.

Then, again, we are a forgiving people, as recollections of Chappaquiddick, Watergate, Monica Lewinsky and assurances of “change you can believe in” have demonstrated, the latter still wringing in our more recent memory. Yes, time – lots of time, perhaps – and some public relations mastery, should be able to do the trick.

But it won’t be with the help of this PR agency. After all, we keep busy enough with the chore of positioning truly worthwhile clients to a public ever more desensitized by over-communication and constantly distracted by the more-than-occasional theater of the absurd.